B: So I'm in the bathroom and all of a sudden, it sounds like someone is knocking on the vent.
Me: The rain? *washing dishes*
B: No, the hail! It starts pounding on the roof like crazy. I hurried up and got the hell outta there.
Me: Oh, babe. What's the worst that could've happened?
B: The damn ceiling could've caved in - that's what!
Me: Well *shrug* at least you'd have died how you lived, honey.
I'm sorry but he gets no sympathy from me. This man can eat a Twizzler and have an immediate and fulfilling bathroom experience. His are the bowels of a newborn babe, mine are those of an angry old man. Life is hard, he's gotta learn to roll with the punches.