Friday, January 30, 2015

Fashion Friday

I've decided to never again wear pants that aren't leggings.  This brilliance came to me as I rushed to get dressed and take the kids to school this morning, somewhere between bumping my toe on the foot of the bed and screaming, "Just brush your teeth already!" to the 5 year old.  There are tons of logical reasons that leggings were the pants chosen by God but I've chosen to highlight my top 3 reasons for loving them.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Dr. Mom

My mother and I have a very complicated relationship.  Complicated in the sense that we're both clinically insane, love each other to pieces and miss each other terribly when we're apart.  However, when we do see each other, we remember every annoying thing the other hates...and we do it.

But as much as I nitpick her, she's really good at being around when I need her.  So with my husband out of town on business and me with one foot in the grave, my mother graciously made a return trip for a few days.
(At the airport)
Me: You made it!
Mom: I told you I was comin' to take care of my babies. 
Me: Thank you mommy.

Mom: No problem, honey *reaches over*
Me: Ma, stop hugging me, you're choking me.
Mom: How's that fever?
Me: It's fine. The fever was gone yesterday. *slap* Stop it! You can't cover my face while I'm driving.
Mom: I'm feeling your head. 

Me: You're crazy. There is no fever.
Mom: And look how skinny your face looks.
Me: I know, right?! Virus diet! I lost 8 lbs! 

Mom: You think that's funny?
Me: I'm kidding.
Mom: That's not funny. That's how the bulimics get started.
Me: I know for a fact that "The Bulimics" do not get started by having strep throat and a sinus infection. That doesn't even make sense. 

Mom: Yeah well it makes sense to me. And I didn't see you being so smart when I was on that computer spending [money] on a ticket with 24 hours notice.
Me: Are you seriously about to remind me of how much you spent to come down here? That is low.
Mom: Hmph.
Me: I'm takin you back to the airport.
Mom: And I will slap the bulimic out of you. Keep your hands on the wheel.
Me: *sigh*

Actual picture of my mother.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

To Live and Die in GA

I don't get sick often, it's something about my enzymes.  Or maybe its my hemoglobin levels.  I don't know - it's something science-y though.  Like, my body just knows that there's no practical way to take care of these kids if mommy is germs typically see me and keep moving.

It's because of all this scientific knowledge I have that I was so profoundly confused when I first came down with Death.  That's really all I can call it.  It isn't a cold, hell it's even worse than the's just death served warm and on a croissant, and it's being shoved swiftly down my throat.  Now, I'm not one to exaggerate, so trust me when I tell you...because I caught Death, I know I'm dying.  

So as I prepare to depart this earthly world, I think only of my children.  For posterity's sake, I thought it best to document my final day for them.