Monday, February 6, 2017

The Night I Went All the Way

Picture it, a cool, cloudless night, a new-ish Ford driven by some hot guy cruising down an oddly empty highway. His hand brushed mine, “You ok?” I nodded.

My excitement from earlier in the day had mostly burned off because of nerves and if I’d spoken, the quiver in my voice might have exposed my anxiety.

He turned up the radio, oblivious to the butterflies in my stomach and hummed along. He was fine, of course he was, it’s not like this was his first time or anything.

Monday, January 23, 2017

A Little Doebahyou First Class Flight: Sponsored Post

This is a sponsored post. In exchange for my review, I was offered a free holiday subscription box. The opinions, however, are all my own.


It’s beginning to look a lot like…mid-winter. You know, that dreadful time of year when the weather is gross, we’re getting back into the tedium of work life after glorious holiday breaks and the kids have somehow managed to lose interest in those toys that Santa just had to bring. You’ve been there.

Immersed in the monotony of the season and still having to deal with entertaining little ones can get tiring. Often, I’m so annoyed that the Christmas gifts have already worn out their welcome I get tempted to ship my children off somewhere in frustration. Let them tell some other family how bored they are with their Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Baby Alive Elmo Transformer (work with me here). Seriously, satisfying those mini monsters with something that will pique their interest and allow them a little creativity for the long haul can be rough.

Interestingly though, right around the time when I started wishing for the kids’ one-way tickets to Timbuktu to appear, I received another option (one that wouldn’t land me on DCFS’ Most Wanted list).

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

12 Anti-Resolutions for Moms Barely Making It

As a busy parent, particularly a stay at home mom to 3, I’m all about streamlining the process. Whatever the task, I’m eager to cut out the middle man…get down to the nitty gritty…head straight for the value, you get my drift. That's what I'm finally breaking myself free from this notion that I have to commit to a bunch of random resolutions every January. 
You know the drill: get through the holidays, become hypercritical of yourself, make up a bunch of unattainable goals, fail at achieving said goals, say lots of swear words, rinse & repeat for next year.

This time, I’m not falling for it. I’m cutting to the chase. And for once, this January means no Look-At-What-I-Can-Do for me. You know what I’d be better at? Figuring out what I’m NOT going to do this year. 

Friday, November 18, 2016

Yes, They're All Mine - Tales From the Crib By a Mom of Many

There’s a moment when riding a roller coaster that your cart is being pulled ever so slowly up the incline, and you lose all concept of fear. The excitement has yet to kick in and there’s only emptiness coupled with a gnawing sense of anticipation/confusion. Anticipation because obviously, something is on the horizon but confusion because who knows if it’s gonna be any good. And why did you even stand in line for something called the Death Accelerator with no seat belts anyway? Weren’t you just looking for the funnel cake stand? That’s what being a mom of many is like emptiness, confusion, and wishing you’d just had a funnel cake.
There’s a scientific equation (and by scientific, I mean I worked out the math myself while cleaning spit-up from betwixt the couch cushions) that says when the number of children you care for exceeds the number of adults it took to create said children, chaotic results will follow.

Friday, November 11, 2016

The Birds, The Bees & The Browns

My 6-year-old had just been picked up from school. The baby sat two seats away from her, eyes fixated on the back of my headrest as Elmo danced across the car movie screen. We were awash in a sea of minivans and hybrids with the rest of the after school traffic. As we trudged slowly down the road I flipped through my mental dinner recipe Rolodex absentmindedly. 
My first grader, oblivious to mommy’s distraction, was regaling the car with a tale of the most exciting things from the day…either fish sticks had been served for lunch or they’d had a fire drill. I’d missed the plot though so it was only by chance I heard, “…but also [friend] came back today. She had a baby!”
The word ‘baby’ stood out in the fog of my mind. My grip tightened on the steering wheel as I held my breath, “What?”