Wednesday, August 12, 2015

For a Good Time, Call Home

The kids and I were video calling my mom the other night:

Mom: Hey...hey...can you see me?
Me: Yeah, hey...what took you so long? 
Mom: I was gettin' off the phone with your daddy. Where are my babies?
Me: Ashton! Roman! Come to the kitchen! *pause* Why are you smirking like that?
Mom: I'm not smirking. 
Me: Ashton, come downstairs! *pause* You look funny. 
Mom: Thanks a lot, you ain't too hot either. 
Me: You're, like, smiling weird. *laughing* You and daddy havin' phone sex now?
Mom: And if I was? Call it the 40 year itch...gotta get creative. *wiggles eyebrows*
Me: I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

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Playground rules apply: Speak the way you'd like to be spoken to and if you don't play nice, I'm kicking you off my monkey bars.