Birthday Baby

Every time a kid’s birthday rolls around in our house, we sit around and discuss their birth story. My children are still young enough to be enchanted by the magic of their beginning and not quite old enough to want to delve deeper into the creation – thank god. 

So this week we talked about Parker. 

Parker, the one who caused mommy so much uncertainty, so many aches and pains, a few false starts and in the end (the beginning?) fear that we wouldn’t be able to keep going. Parker, who turns 3 today, laughed when I shared how the hospital tried to turn me around the day she was born. It seems she got a kick out of hearing about the challenge of it all, typical Parker. See, those nurses thought I wasn’t ready, but I knew that was wrong. I needed her here with me – with us – and I couldn’t turn back so I did what I had to do.

And all of a sudden, she was here (and everywhere) and everything was new again…

Parker, who I waited to turn 3, was more than I could handle. That’s the truth. A surprise pregnancy was only the beginning, Parker has a way of keeping people on their toes. Three years ago, there were many days and nights of doubt and lots of feeling overwhelmed. The highs and lows that had only recently evened out, came back with a vengeance and that was scary. My mother, my counsel, finally resorted to repeating to me regularly, “Just wait, when she’s around 3 or so and the big kids are older, things won’t be so bad. Everything will be ok.” So I waited, fumbling here and there, wondering when I’d find my groove and feeling like I was falling short more times than not. But as those eerily long days passed, the months started to fly by. So I kept my goal in sight – as I played a solitary game of Hurry Up and Wait.

And now we’re here, we’re 3. Our whole family has a birthday today because of how everything changed back then. On the day that was harder than I expected, different from the first 2 times, we were born and everything was new…but now we’ve grown.

Parker, you are not easy, and you don’t stick to my schedule all the time. And if I’m being honest, I’ll admit that these growing pains hurt sometimes too. I don’t always know what to do but even when it’s difficult and the days are long, you wait for me…because you know that sooner than later, it’ll be ok. And that’s why you’re such a good fit for our family, Puppy. You push us through the hard stuff. Every single day you make mommy balance the gritty with the great. So happy birthday, baby, thank you for being patient these past 3 years. If you keep waiting with me, I promise it’ll only get better.