Experiments in marriage, parenthood and other adult dysfunctions.
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
12 Anti-Resolutions for Moms Barely Making It
As a busy parent, particularly a stay at home mom to 3, I’m all about streamlining the process. Whatever the task, I’m eager to cut out the middle man…get down to the nitty gritty…head straight for the value meal...um, you get my drift. That's what I'm finally breaking myself free from this notion that I have to commit to a bunch of random resolutions every January.
You know the drill: get through the holidays, become hypercritical of yourself, make up a bunch of unattainable goals, fail at achieving said goals, say lots of swear words, rinse & repeat for next year.
This time, I’m not falling for it. I’m cutting to the chase. And for once, this January means no Look-At-What-I-Can-Do for me. You know what I’d be better at? Figuring out what I’m NOT going to do this year.
With that said, I’ve come up with a list of 12 ANTI-resolutions to help me preserve my sanity in 2017 and beyond. Stick around, these might be targets you can hit too.
January:I will NOT do all of the Pinterest things in one week. There’s something about a new year that makes me forget that I wasn’t re-born Martha Stewart with the change in the calendar. I will have pinned 3,014 new toddler crafts over the holiday break and for some reason, believe that I will tackle each one once a week in this coming year. I fail, religiously, at remembering that crafting with my kids is the equivalent of herding kittens. So I resolve to just be okay with coloring books and washable markers this go-round.
February:I will NOT send my ungrateful children to an orphanage. It never fails, with Christmas only .2 seconds behind us, my 3 little monsters angels have already discarded all of this holiday’s must-haves and turned them into remember-thats. Tablets and talking Elmos strewn about make for cumbersome décor as the kids instead play with my good throw pillows and hang from the window treatments. But I resolve not to lose my cool and threaten them with new families…just yet.
March:I will NOT forget that leaving my family for a few hours is not deserting them. We’re only a few months in, if mommy goes completely nuts, you’re screwed for the rest of the year. Trust me, dinner out with my girlfriends is just as much for you as it is for me, so let go of my leg! (I’m looking at you, husband.)