Monday, September 21, 2015

Pinterest: Failure Is An Option

Do you hear that? It's the crinkle of fallen leaves underfoot. Sniff for me. Mmm, that's the smell of pumpkin spice wafting through the air and integrating itself into every edible concoction known to man. Now look down, you see that protruding gut? After 4 months of being "summer time fine," you're finally allowed to eat carbs again and turn into a chic sweater wearing chubster. That's right people, it's the most wonderful time of the year - it's fall! 

Pretty damn poetic, isn't it.
The temps are lowering, those cute cropped leather jackets are on sale again and the kids will start interrogating me about whether or not Santa & Jesus are homeboys. I love this time of year. Contrary to the first few weeks after New Year's, when I'm all spent from overindulging my body and my mind on commercialized merriment and turducken (is that still in?), Fall inspires in me a sense of renewal and excitement for things to come. 

This season also stimulates some latent sense of creativity I usually manage to supress the rest of the year. I don't know what it is about seeing the leaves change color but all of a sudden, I get to feeling like pre-penitiary Martha Stewart. I begin to believe that my frugality is a blessing and not a curse and that with just enough ingenuity I can make anything I set my mind to - potpourri from last night's leftovers? I'm on it. Some $250 Pottery Barn lamp shade lookalikes out of newspaper, chicken wire and scotch tape? Hell yeah. An Emeril's copycat recipe made with Walmart ingredients? I will crush that shit! 

That damn mindset has gotten my feelings hurt more times than I can count.

Recently I got some super sweet comments on the look of Baby P's birthday party that I've shared here on the blog and my other social media sites. It was met with some really positive feedback both from the guests and those kind enough to share comments elsewhere. It actually did quite a bit to boost the ego of this old gal.

But before I got too full of myself, I started going back through my photo albums and remembering when my Pinterest-inspired creativity didn't birth success. I thought it'd be fun if I also shared all the times Pinterest set me up for failure in recent years. You know, in the interest of full disclosure and whatnot. 

So if you're a crafty mama, or an aspiring Do It Yourself-er like moi, you should enjoy the following pictorial of The Top 5 Times Pinterest Pooped on My Party Parade: 


To be fair, my Independence Day Strawberries weren't the worst thing I've ever made in life. I was, however, irritated that my delicacies didn't live up to the smooth professional look of their inspiration berries and instead took on the look of a stumpy penis. (Cmon, I can't be the only one that sees that.)


I'm always looking for holiday decor that doesn't break the bank, so when I find "easy" tutorials that don't require a million expensive components, I'm all for it. How I went wrong rolling yarn around a stick is beyond me though. Even the kids wondered why I was putting "sad apples" with the rest of their Halloween decorations.


This failure can be chalked up to my desire to offer a vegan birthday alternative for my (egg & nut sensitive) 5 year old. But all the good intentions in the world didn't matter since I couldn't find a decent freakin' binding agent for my rainbow cake. 

Note: Though it didn't hold shape, this colorful mess did come in handy as a unconventional ice cream topping later that night when we sprinkled the "mush" over some sugar cones and snuggled in to watch Family Feud (the kids love saying, "Welcome to the Feud!" with Steve - go figure).


What's Christmas without gingerbread men? A much more kid friendly holiday, that's what...that is if the ginger village you're forgoing is the one my family & friends created. 

The army on the top left was created by the kids and I. What was supposed to be a charming little group of happy holiday merry makers took a turn for the worse, when I realized it looks like they've all been kidnapped and tortured at Guatanamo before baking. I have no idea what kind of pent up anger the 3 and 5 year old are holding onto to make such terrified looking cookie people. 

The bottom left pic was done over copious amounts of cognac and/or red wine while my friends and I re-choreographed a bunch of Beyonc√© videos. That probably explains a lot. 


[Insert sigh here] I had such high hopes for my popsicle stick Santa. I was Room Mom of the 3 year old's class and looking for a cute trinket to add on to some seasonal gift bags that had been created for everyone. This is what I came up with - Meth Santa. Helluva way to start their holiday break, don't ya think?

So if you're ever feeling down in the dumps this season after being Pin-spired to create some epic failure, take heart - you could be a lot worse off, you could be me.

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