Father Knows...

Having children gives you the chance to view your own parents with new eyes. The larger than life figures that you idolized (villianized?) are often seen through different lenses. Complicated relationships are sometimes made even more so taking into consideration that your parents are only human, flawed but with hopes and dreams and failures of their own to contend with.

Father-daughter relationships can be extra tricky. I remember first having kids and being surprised at how attentive my dad seemed; how present and thoughtfully he cared for them. My dad, in my childhood memories, always loomed a stern and imposing figure. As a grandfather, he’s funny and playful, things I’d misremembered about him for far too long.

Unboxing: Izzy & Liv

Unboxing: The Mom Life Edition

Y’all, 😩 how do vloggers live, because this can’t be it. The effort and creativity that go into making a 20 minute slice of life video is just beyond me. I can’t even do a 60 second unboxing video without my kids converging like cockroaches🤦🏾‍♀️

Yet another Izzy & Liv box, for the win. It’s a subscription service that celebrates the history and beauty of black girl magic. I was gifted a membership about a year ago and I’ve really loved each shipment sent.

#BrownSugarBox

Breast friends

The 4yo was watching me intently as I dressed for the day:

P: Remember when I used to chew on your boobies?
Me: You didn’t chew them (usually). You drank from them, like a lot of babies.
P: Ohhhh. Can I do that now?
Me: Nope.
P: Why?
Me: Because you’re a big girl now.
P: But I like boobies.
Me: Well, lots of people do, I think. You still have to wait until you get your own.
P: And then I’ll chew on them?
Me: Ok, let’s start from the top...🤦🏾‍

♀️

Showtime

This girl, always doing things her own way, but making waves nonetheless. Ashton is in her first play this week. “I’m a town crier, mom,” she said initially.

“No,” I replied, “you’re Town Crier number TWO. You have a title, get it right.”

She rolled her eyes at first, but I heard her laugh walking away. She struggles regularly with what lots of little girls do, wanting to be special and stand out but still somehow not appear any “different” than the rest. I know the feeling. And it’s a hard one to shake. But this time, bravery won out. She auditioned for the school chorus last year, even though many of her friends didn’t think twice about it and she even went out for a leading role when the play was announced. She didn’t let not getting that leading role get her down either. That resilience will come in handy.

Brother Love

I take lots of random videos of the kids, both so I can have funny things to look back on (and bribe them with) AND so that we can stay connected with family across the country who want to keep in touch.

I captured this last night, right before they were going to bed. They’d had a pretty deep conversation about her getting bigger and whether or not that meant she was still the baby (they tabled the discussion without agreeing to an answer).

Then today when I reviewed the video I noticed some things I’d overlooked yesterday. I saw today how she leans on his shoulder as he speaks and grips his hand instinctively toward the end, he doesn’t stop her this time (the way brothers sometimes can) and almost welcomes it comfortably. And it occurred to me that even when I think they’re not “seeing” one another in the moment, that they’re bonding all the time. I hope that remains constant always. The way Parker (4yo) looks to Roman (7yo) now for security and the way they both seek out Ashton (9yo) for validation is so special to me, comforting really. They fight like gladiators sometimes, don’t get me wrong, but glimpsing snippets like this reminds me that they’re doing ok too and they have one another’s backs.

And that’s all most moms really want, for her kids to know there’s always someone in their corner loving and fighting for them no matter what.

Kid Convos

9yo: Your shirt has 2 holes in it.
Me: Oh *looking down* I see that.
9yo: Your hair is falling out of the ponytail...and you smell a little bit like bacon.
Me: 😐
9yo: Are you sad today?
Me: Well, I wasn’t. But then this conversation started so....🤷🏾‍♀️

It’s too Monday for this shit.